In my years as a corporate trainer and management consultant, I’ve learned something that still surprises people today: admitting you don’t know something is one of the most powerful tools you have.
Whether you’re a leader, team member, or even an expert in your field, saying “I don’t know” can build trust, foster growth, and pave the way for genuine learning.
At first glance, admitting gaps in knowledge feels like a vulnerability — like you’re exposing yourself to judgment or risking your credibility.
But in reality, “I don’t know” is one of the strongest phrases you can say. It signals openness, honesty, and a willingness to grow.
These are the very traits that not only make great leaders but also create strong teams and authentic relationships.
Why We Struggle to Say “I Don’t Know”
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable saying “I don’t know,” you’re not alone. For many of us, admitting we don’t have the answer feels like admitting weakness. I’ve been in situations where I felt pressured to know everything. Especially in the corporate world, where being an expert is highly valued, it can be tough to acknowledge gaps in your knowledge.
When I first started consulting, I remember one particular moment that stuck with me.
I was asked a question by a client, and even though I wasn’t 100% sure of the answer, I gave a vague response. Later, I realized I’d have been better off simply saying, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” Instead of feeling relieved by avoiding embarrassment, I felt uneasy.
That moment taught me a crucial lesson: it’s not about always having the answer; it’s about finding the right answer.
There are a few reasons we avoid saying, “I don’t know”:
- Fear of Judgment: We’re often afraid that admitting we don’t know something will make others see us as less capable or intelligent.
- Perceived Competence: In leadership or expert roles, there’s a pressure to always be on top of things. You think your authority might be questioned if you don’t have all the answers.
- Imposter Syndrome: Especially when you’re new to a role or feel like you don’t “belong,” admitting a gap in knowledge can feel like confirmation of your worst fears — that you’re not good enough.
But here’s the truth: nobody knows everything. Even the most successful leaders, the most knowledgeable experts, and the best in their fields have gaps in their knowledge. The difference between those who grow and those who stagnate is the ability to admit it.
Saying “I Don’t Know” Builds Trust
One of the biggest misconceptions I had early in my career was thinking that I had to know everything to earn people’s trust. But the reality is that people trust those who are honest, not those who pretend to have all the answers.
Imagine working with someone who always has a ready-made answer, even when it’s clear they’re unsure. Over time, you start to question their reliability. On the other hand, think about how refreshing it is when someone says, “I don’t know, but let’s figure this out together.” That level of honesty breeds trust because you know they’re not feeding you misinformation just to protect their image.
There’s something deeply humanizing about admitting you don’t know everything. It makes you more relatable and approachable, which in turn strengthens your connection with others. In my experience, when I’ve admitted I didn’t know the answer but was committed to finding it, my clients, colleagues, and teams respected me more, not less.
One example comes to mind from a training session I led with a company’s executive team. They asked a technical question outside my expertise. Instead of fumbling for an answer or pretending I knew the details, I simply said, “I don’t know, but I’ll get back to you with the right information.” Not only did this preserve my credibility, but it also showed that I valued accuracy over appearances.
The Learning Opportunity in “I Don’t Know”
Admitting you don’t know something is the first step to learning. When we’re constantly pretending to know it all, we block ourselves from asking questions, exploring new ideas, and growing. Saying “I don’t know” opens up opportunities to collaborate, seek out new knowledge, and build solutions together.
In fact, some of the best conversations I’ve had with teams and clients started with “I don’t know.” Instead of shutting the door on the unknown, it turned into an opportunity to explore possibilities and come up with creative solutions. When you embrace that openness, it invites others to do the same. Your willingness to admit what you don’t know sets the tone for a culture of curiosity and learning.
Here’s a practical tip I’ve used: after saying “I don’t know,” always follow it with a plan. For example, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you by tomorrow.” This shows that you’re not only admitting a gap but actively working to fill it. It turns a moment of uncertainty into an actionable step toward growth.
How It Impacts Leadership
In leadership, there’s often a misconception that leaders should always have the answers. I’ve worked with countless leaders who felt they had to be infallible to gain respect. But in my experience, leaders who admit they don’t know everything inspire more trust, respect, and engagement from their teams.
Why? Because authenticity matters more than authority. When a leader admits they don’t know something, it empowers their team to step up and contribute. It fosters an environment where people feel safe to ask questions, challenge ideas, and share their knowledge. On the other hand, a leader who insists they know it all can create a culture of fear, where people are hesitant to speak up or offer input.
I remember working with a manager who struggled with this concept. They felt that admitting they didn’t know something would make them look weak in front of their team. But when we discussed it, I encouraged them to try it out. In a team meeting, when asked a question outside their expertise, they simply said, “I’m not sure, but I’d love to hear what you all think.” The result? Their team members opened up, shared their insights, and the group found a solution together. Far from damaging their credibility, it strengthened their relationship with the team.
In leadership, it’s not about knowing all the answers — it’s about facilitating the process of finding them. And sometimes, saying “I don’t know” is the first step in that process.
The Personal Growth Aspect
It’s not just in the professional world that saying “I don’t know” is powerful. In our personal lives, admitting gaps in our knowledge opens the door to deeper relationships, personal development, and self-awareness. Whether it’s in friendships, family dynamics, or even learning new skills, acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers allows you to approach life with more humility and curiosity.
For example, in my personal life, I’ve found that saying “I don’t know” has made me a better listener. Instead of pretending to understand something I don’t, I’m more comfortable asking questions and learning from others. This shift has deepened my relationships because people appreciate honesty and are often happy to share their knowledge.
In the realm of self-growth, admitting what we don’t know helps us identify areas for improvement. If we’re always pretending to be experts, we miss out on opportunities to learn and grow. Whether it’s developing a new skill, understanding a different perspective, or confronting a personal limitation, saying “I don’t know” is a stepping stone to becoming a better version of ourselves.
Breaking the Habit of “Faking It”
We live in a culture that often rewards confidence, sometimes even when it’s misplaced. This can lead to the dangerous habit of faking it — pretending we know things we don’t. While there’s a time and place for confidence, especially when taking risks or trying something new, pretending to know things we don’t can backfire.
I’ve seen this play out in the workplace and in life. People who fake expertise often end up in over their heads, making mistakes or misleading others. On the other hand, those who are open about what they don’t know have the opportunity to learn, collaborate, and ultimately, succeed.
The key is balance. You don’t need to walk into every room announcing all the things you don’t know, but when faced with a question or challenge outside your expertise, it’s far better to admit it and move forward from there.
How to Make “I Don’t Know” a Habit
If you’re not used to saying “I don’t know,” it can feel uncomfortable at first. But like any skill, it gets easier with practice. Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful in making this a habit:
- Start Small: Begin by admitting uncertainty in low-stakes situations. This could be with friends, family, or in casual conversations. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable doing it in professional settings.
- Follow Up with a Plan: After admitting you don’t know something, always outline the next steps. For example, “I don’t know, but I’ll research this and get back to you by tomorrow.”
- Encourage Questions: Create an environment where questions and curiosity are welcomed. When others see you admitting what you don’t know, they’ll feel more comfortable doing the same.
- Encourage Questions: Create an environment where questions and curiosity are welcomed. When others see you admitting what you don’t know, they’ll feel more comfortable doing the same. This applies in both personal and professional contexts. When you lead by example, others are more likely to drop their guard and engage in deeper, more authentic conversations.
- Reframe Uncertainty as Opportunity: Instead of viewing “I don’t know” as a weakness, start seeing it as an opportunity for growth and learning. Each time you admit you don’t know something, it’s a chance to learn, explore, and ultimately expand your knowledge. Over time, this mindset shift will help you see uncertainty not as something to fear, but as a doorway to improvement.
- At the heart of personal and professional growth is the ability to acknowledge what we don’t know and take steps to improve. In my journey as a corporate trainer and consultant, I’ve seen firsthand the powerful impact of admitting uncertainty. Far from diminishing our value, it strengthens our relationships, deepens our understanding, and fosters a culture of trust and growth.
Final Thoughts
At the heart of personal and professional growth is the ability to acknowledge what we don’t know and take steps to improve.
In my journey as a corporate trainer and consultant, I’ve seen firsthand the powerful impact of admitting uncertainty. Far from diminishing our value, it strengthens our relationships, deepens our understanding, and fosters a culture of trust and growth.
By inculcating the power of “I don’t know,” we open the door to greater self-awareness, better leadership, and more meaningful connections with others.
So the next time you feel the urge to pretend you have all the answers, pause and consider the strength in simply admitting, “I don’t know.” It just might be the most empowering thing you say all day.
